Agape: The Highest Form of Love
While Agape may be the name of a wonderful fast-casual Mediterranean restaurant, in the context of this relationship series, it represents something far deeper. Agape is the highest form of love—a love described as selfless, unconditional, and enduring. Often referred to as charity, Agape is the love that is given freely, with no expectation of return.
This type of love is often associated with divine love—the love of God for humanity and humanity's love for God. Unlike other forms of love, Agape transcends circumstances. It is not contingent on feelings, actions, or external factors. It is sacrificial, enduring, and most often described as unconditional love.
The Myth of Perfect Love
Agape involves loving someone completely, just as they are. To some, this might feel like an unreachable ideal. After all, in this world, there is no such thing as perfection based on our personal standards. You will never meet a person who perfectly aligns with your predefined expectations. Yet, the notion that every individual and thing was perfectly made can be a difficult concept to embrace.
Think about your parents. Without a doubt, they caused you pain in ways they shouldn’t have, especially when you needed unconditional love the most. If you have children, I’m sure there have been times when you didn’t feel you loved them fully, or when you even thought of throwing them off the roof (metaphorically speaking, of course). So, if we struggle to love those closest to us in their entirety, how can we possibly understand a love like Agape?
A Glimpse of Agape
My hope is that everyone experiences a moment of Agape in their lifetime. I hope that each person gets the opportunity to love another human being completely, without reservation. I also wish for you to feel the embrace of someone who loves you in the same way. I know there are individuals who embody this kind of love, offering it to others selflessly.
The practice of Agape involves loving without expecting anything in return. It’s the ability to listen fully to another person, to see them for who they truly are, and to carry their pain as your own. This is the essence of Agape: loving someone for who they are, without attempting to change them, and offering grace, compassion, and forgiveness, even when they don’t "deserve" it.
The Challenge of Loving Beyond the Self
One of the greatest challenges in love is when you love someone more than they love themselves. It’s a daunting concept to consider—what if you knew everything about someone—their flaws, their darkest thoughts, and their deepest regrets—and yet, you loved them unconditionally? What if you accepted them completely, flaws and all? That’s the kind of love Agape teaches us to give.
This love is beyond human measure. It’s a love that doesn't come with conditions or expectations. You won’t be "good enough" to deserve it, yet it will be offered to you regardless. It’s a gift so profound that at first, you might reject it, unsure that you’re worthy of such a love.
Acceptance Without Change
At its core, Agape is about seeing things as they truly are—accepting them without the desire to change them. When you love with Agape, you see something or someone for what it is, not for what you wish it could be. There is no need to try and improve, because in the eyes of Agape, there is no "better." What is, is perfect in its own way.
Redefining Goodness and Harm
Growing up, we often hear that someone is "a good person" or "a bad person." But is that really the truth? People make mistakes, and many have caused great harm, even on a large scale. Yet, Agape doesn’t measure people by their actions alone. Instead, it looks at the person as a whole, offering compassion and acceptance regardless of past wrongs.
We may find it difficult to accept this form of love, especially when others have done harm or when we are unable to extend it ourselves. But that’s the beauty of Agape—it isn’t contingent on perfection. It doesn’t ask for merit, nor does it seek repayment. It is pure and given freely.
Agape is a love that transcends all boundaries, flaws, and circumstances. It challenges us to see others as perfectly made and to love them without condition. It’s the kind of love that, though difficult to comprehend, is the most powerful force we can offer in a world that often feels broken. If we can glimpse this love—both in giving and receiving—it has the power to transform everything.
I pray that we feel this light upon us and within us, such that we are able to share it with others. You have enough, you're doing enough, you are enough.
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