Parenting is one of the strangest callings in life. It is exhausting, frustrating, ego-crushing…and at the same time, it is one of the greatest privileges you will ever experience. Both things are true. People are a lot like dogs. We are wired differently. Some kids are calm and compliant. Some are intense and explosive. Some are natural pleasers. Others are relentless negotiators. Some require very little guidance. Others require enormous energy, structure, and patience. The

Role Models, Rituals, and the Humbling Education of Parenthood Having children has been fascinating, humbling, and at times brutally exhausting. There’s truth to the cliché: the days are long, but the years are fast.  But beyond the fatigue and unpredictability, the greatest gift of parenting has been the education I’ve received from my kids. Children are expressive, opinionated, curious, selfish, imaginative, joyful, and wildly observant. They are not subtle. They want to kn

The Long Drive: Health, Pace, and Preventive Maintenance One of the core principles of this practice is little and often, over the long haul . Real progress almost always happens in small, stepwise advances. A wise patient once told me, “God gives you only the challenges you’re prepared to handle,” and over time I’ve found that to be remarkably true. Life rarely moves in dramatic leaps—it moves in steady miles. I often think of the human body like a car on a long road trip. O

Life Is Better When You Don’t Walk Alone Life is easier when you don’t walk alone. When you fall, someone helps you back up. The problem is that many people feel like they don’t have anyone to walk with—and to be fair, people will  let you down. That reality is unavoidable. This is why I’m a strong advocate for what I call distant mentors . There are countless people whose work has shaped the way I think, live, and practice—many of whom I’ll never meet. One advantage of learn

When Goals Stop Working: Recognizing a New Chapter of Life For the past 10 to 15 years, once or twice a year, I’ve sat down and mapped out goals for the coming calendar year. For most of that time, I was remarkably consistent at hitting the majority of them. 2025 was different. It was the year I missed more goals than I completed — and I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why. The answer, I think, is simple but uncomfortable: I transitioned into a new chapter of life withou

Perspective, Normal, and the Illusion of “Compared to What?” One of the most common—and quietly corrosive—questions people wrestle with is: Compared to what? Compared to who? Compared to where I “should” be by now? Broadening perspective is one of the most powerful—and humbling—things we can do in life. Many of us walk around with the quiet belief that we don’t have enough, aren’t good enough, or should be further along. And the uncomfortable truth is this: all of that might

Stress Management, the Mirror, and the Two Selves When we talk about stress management, the concept only really works if we accept one simple truth: we are always two people —our present self  and our future self . These two versions of us are often competing. What brings pleasure to the present self can compromise the future. What brings long-term joy to the future self often feels uncomfortable—or inconvenient—right now. Stress often arises from this tension. The Mirror The

The antidote to sickness is health.  The antidote to weakness is strength.  The antidote to being poor is creating wealth.  The antidote to loneliness is meaningful relationships.  And the antidote to ignorance is knowledge. Life becomes far easier when we operate from a position of strength. Yet I often see people trying to be generous before they have anything to give. It’s like donating to charity with a maxed-out credit card. Whether we’re offering time, money, energy, or

Riding the wave is the art of living. Life is  the wave—powerful, unpredictable, often indifferent to your plans. God hands you a surfboard. That’s it. The more desperately you try to balance, the quicker you fall. The more you try to fight the wave, the more you waste unnecessary energy. Never try to fight or control the wave. The bigger the wave, the greater the thrill… or the harder the crash. When you learn to surf, you don’t start with thirty-footers. You begin with ripp

Historically, I’ve promoted the idea of defining a minimum effective dose  of self-care—small, consistent actions that keep you grounded. After returning from deployment, I learned that to withstand significant daily stress, I needed to do just three things every day: Move my body. Learn something new. Let my family know I love them. When I did these consistently, I became more resilient. Dan John teaches a similar concept he calls a pirate map : a short list of 3–5 non-negot

The Pain Dial: Why We’ve Stopped Recognizing Our Own Stress A concept I’ve been thinking about lately is how few people recognize their own level of stress. I often hear patients say, “I don’t feel stressed.” Then I start listing what’s actually happening in their lives: marital conflict, a child struggling with addiction, looming retirement without a plan, the guilt of having to let long-time employees go, financial insecurity, and 50 extra pounds they can’t seem to lose. Su

This article is a reflection on the people who have had the greatest impact on my life. Each one has taught me lessons—about love,...

The Long View: Why Delayed Gratification Still Matters During my urology rotation in medical school, my attending told me something...

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Last month, I received my black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. The first time I walked into a gym was in December 2009. Since then, I’ve...

Given that it's the dog days of summer, I’m putting out four “grab bag” articles—looser reflections on the past year. The past year was...

Unlocking Success: The Power of Goal Setting and Planning Goal setting and planning are transformative tools for steering your life in a...

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Broadening Perspectives Through Reading: Influential Books That Shaped My Thinking Reading is one of the most effective ways to broaden...

Life unfolds in seasons—spring, summer, fall, and winter. Just as farmers rhythmically plant, nurture, harvest, and rest, our lives also...