Spiritual Health Pt V: Happiness

Healthy, Happy — and Why “Happiness” Feels So Hard

When I ask people, “What would make next year a success?” the most common answer I hear is simple: “I want to be healthy and happy.”

Health, I’ve written about before—metabolic flexibility, rest and effort, the dance between individual well-being and community responsibility.

Happiness, however, is harder. Not because it’s mysterious, but because we often confuse a fleeting emotion with a state of being. When most people say “happy,” they actually mean peace, joy, and contentment.

And here’s the paradox: Many “unhappy” people would not trade their lives. They love their spouse, kids, friends, home, dog, and career. They wouldn’t swap lives with anyone in particular.

Yet—they feel discontent. Why am I not further along? Why don’t I feel the way I think I should?

The Modern Illusion: Someone Else Has It Better

Comparison is one of our oldest temptations and newest addictions. We live in a world where we can see everyone’s highlight reel in real time. Someone will always be:

• fitter

• wealthier

• more accomplished

• better looking

• more admired

And if that person happens to be your sibling or friend—someone who had similar “starting conditions”—it can sting more. The brain says, “If they did it, why didn’t I?”

But beneath comparison lies something deeper:

Life is hard. Time stretches thin. Responsibility compounds. You drop balls. You wish you were more than you currently are.

This doesn’t mean you're failing. It means you’re human.

So Where Does Happiness Come From?

I’ve reflected on this personally and professionally, and I come back to three intertwined states:

Peace

Peace is the absence of inner conflict.

It’s the ability to stop fighting reality.

• People are who they are.

• Systems are what they are.

• Life isn’t fair, and it never has been.

• We contributed to where we are, and we can contribute to where we go.

Peace is rest. Peace is perspective. Peace is recognition.

We forget the miracles around us: electricity, clean water, the internet, modern medicine, the ability to talk to someone across the world instantly. For nearly all of human existence, these would be indistinguishable from magic.

And still, somehow, we say, “Not enough.”

Peace begins when we stop arguing with the fact that life is both miraculous and difficult at the same time.

Joy

Joy is the energetic expression of peace. It is gratitude in motion.

Joy doesn’t require comfort. You can feel joy running hill sprints, holding your newborn through tears, or grinding through a hard season in life or business.

Joy says, “This matters.” Joy is not comfort—it’s aliveness.

Contentment

Contentment is the quiet belief that you have enough and you are enough—even as you grow.

The modern trap is that “enough” keeps moving. Our grandparents considered a color TV and a single car luxury. Today many people earn more, live longer, and expect more—and still feel behind.

Contentment is not stagnation. It is the soil where growth becomes joyful instead of desperate.

The Science & Philosophy of Happiness

Many happiness frameworks point toward similar truths:

PERMA (Positive Psychology, Seligman)

• Positive emotion

• Engagement (flow)

• Relationships

• Meaning

• Accomplishment

Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic

• Hedonic: comfort and pleasure

• Eudaimonic: meaning, virtue, growth

Both matter. Misery lies in imbalance.

Self-Determination Theory

• Autonomy

• Competence

• Relatedness

We need control, mastery, and belonging.

Stoic & Buddhist Traditions

• Accept what is

• Master the self

• Reduce attachment and craving

• Practice presence, gratitude, compassion

Happiness = acceptance + discipline.

Ikigai (Japanese Purpose)

Purpose sits where passion, skill, service, and sustainability meet.

Mayo Clinic Five Dimensions

• Physical

• Emotional

• Social

• Financial

• Spiritual

When one pillar collapses, we wobble.

Across all models, a theme emerges:

Meaning + Connection + Growth + Gratitude + Autonomy + Health + Virtue = Sustainable Happiness

A Practical Happiness Prescription

Happiness is not a feeling to chase. It is a life to live.

Do these things and life becomes richer:

• Move your body every day

• Sleep deeply

• Eat whole foods and drink water

• Practice gratitude

• Connect deeply with others

• Serve and contribute

• Spend time in nature

• Learn, create, and grow

• Accept reality and improve what you can

• Rest without guilt

This isn't glamorous. It's simply human flourishing.

Happiness, Reframed

Happiness isn’t a mood. It’s a practice or a way of being.

It is the slow layering of peace, joy, and contentment over days, years, and decades.

You don’t “achieve” happiness. You cultivate it.

The goal is not to feel good all the time. The goal is to live well, love deeply, and stay awake to the miracle of being here at all.