Spiritual Health VI: Charity

The Heart of Charity

This topic was covered previously in the financial series, but it’s worth revisiting — not as a matter of budgeting or tax deductions, but as a reflection on what it means to give.

The Essence of Charity

Charity is giving without the expectation of return. Yet many of us, even with good intentions, try to maintain a sense of control — to ensure our money or time is used properly. We want our generosity to be efficient, effective, and measurable. We look for the “return on investment” of our kindness.

But charity is the opposite of control. It’s an act of surrender — of trusting that once you give, it’s no longer yours to direct. True giving is a practice in releasing your grip on outcomes.

The Fear of Spoiling

A common hesitation about charity is the fear of creating dependency or entitlement. But when giving to those truly in need, it’s rare to “spoil” someone. You can’t spoil someone who’s hungry, grieving, or hopeless. Sometimes, the smallest act of kindness — a meal, a visit, a listening ear — restores faith in humanity. Charity doesn’t always change circumstances, but it can rekindle belief.

Lessons in Gratitude

I’ve been spoiled. I’ve acted entitled. When I was younger, I took my coaches and teachers for granted — unaware of how little they earned or how many hours they sacrificed for our sake. Now that my own time feels increasingly limited, I look back with deep gratitude. Their generosity wasn’t financial; it was personal. They gave energy, patience, and care — gifts that no paycheck could match.

Conditional vs. Unconditional Giving

Someone once told me the most charitable act is employing another person — providing opportunity. But I’ve come to realize that employment, by definition, is transactional. It’s built on expectations, contracts, and performance. It’s not charity — it’s exchange. Conditional giving (I’ll give if you behave this way) is still rooted in control. Unconditional charity lets go of that need.

The Quiet Acts of Love

The most charitable things others have done for me weren’t grand gestures. They were small and sincere:

• Teaching and answering my questions.

• Checking in unprompted.

• Sending an unexpected card.

• Sharing a meal or a hug at just the right time.

These aren’t financial gifts — they’re acts of attention. Charity, at its core, is presence.

The Balance of Giving

There’s a difference between giving more than you have and giving everything you have. Giving more than you have steals from your future self. It breeds resentment and debt. Giving everything you have — your time, your energy, your life — is a calling, not a quota. A life devoted to service is noble, but it must be chosen freely, not demanded by guilt or the expectations of other people.

The Risk of an Open Heart

When you give with an open heart, you make yourself vulnerable. You will eventually be taken advantage of, disappointed, or wounded. You will accumulate scars. Continue to give anyway and stop thinking about ROI or the score. Whether that’s foolish or admirable, I’m still not sure. Maybe it’s both.

But I suspect the world needs more people willing to take that risk — to give, to care, to love — without needing to control what happens next.