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Daniel Fosselman

Optimal Healing Environment

Updated: Sep 28

A wise sage Joe Dirt once stated, “Life’s a garden, dig it.” All of us are like seeds. If we are planted in great soil we’re more likely to flourish. If you’re planted in the middle of a desert, you're more likely to wither. This analogy can be extrapolated to multiple contexts of our lives. 


In relationships, if you are constantly supplying energy and giving to others, but you’re not receiving any nourishment, you’ll wither. Unfortunately, some people feel as though nobody around appreciates their existence. That’s a lonely and uncomfortable existence. Finding people who appreciate you is important for self-confidence. Having just a handful of people in your life that water you can go a long way. Finding a spouse that nourishes you can transform your life. 


You’ll struggle if at work you don’t have autonomy, recognition, or purpose. Most people will put about a third of their waking hours into their job. If you’re not happy at work, it can bleed over into your home life. Well compensated jobs typically come with a lot of stress - mentally or physically. Try to avoid jobs that provide asymmetrical returns. If you have a job that brings you joy, you’re more likely to be joyful at home. 

Your home should be an oasis. This should be a place where you want to come back to. It should provide security and peace. If this is not the case, it’s a problem. If you’re physically at risk, get out or get help. If you’re physically safe, but your house is just chaos, find somewhere within or just outside of the home you can have peace. Make your home more peaceful. Get a bed and a chair that brings you joy. Make your home something that you want to come back to. 


If you’re in a toxic environment. The right answer is to uproot yourself and plant yourself in a new environment. Physically changing your environment will change you. Most people who go to the gym exercise. Most people who go to the grocery store buy food. Most people who go to McDonald’s buy McDonalds. Most people who go to a bar drink alcohol. Most people who put themselves in educational settings learn. Put yourself in situations where you’re surrounded by people who are trying to achieve the same things as you. 


People are all different types of seeds. The perfect environment for one person can be a toxic environment for another. It’s wise to learn from others, but sometimes you still have to test something for yourself. 


Your environment will change you. People change and people evolve. If you plant yourself in a harsh environment, you’ll typically harden. If you harden too much, you won’t become flexible and will snap. Plant yourself in too weak of an environment and you’ll become fragile. 


The paradox of all of these environments is that you have to cultivate them for them to cultivate you. The more you take care of your home, the more pleasant it will be. The more you invest in relationships, the more they will give you. The more you’re a good teammate at work, the more people will be willing to help you. The better friend you are to others, generally they’ll be better friends to you. 


No matter where you are, there will be work. Some places have much better soil than others. Find a place that supports you and you enjoy supporting. 




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