Major life transitions are more common than we expect and can be a catalyst for positive or negative changes in our health. These are often more expected than we like to admit and something I see that is often neglected is any planning around these situations. Examples of major life events include marriage or divorce, graduations, having children, retirement, becoming a primary caregiver, experiencing the death of a parent, partner, or close family member, getting a dog, going on vacation, changing jobs, and moving.
Most of these events provide some lead time in knowing a change is coming, but there is no consideration on how this will impact our day to day life. In all of these situations, your daily schedule will radically change. You can have a consistent workout routine for 10 years and when you get a dog this goes out the window and one day you wake up wondering “Where did my health go? It’s been 5, 10, or 20 years since I’ve focused on myself as a result of these changes.” Sometimes it’s a new medical diagnosis for yourself or a loved one, or the sudden passing of a family member that prompts us to start focusing on improving our own health or quality of life. Sometimes it’s something like looking at a picture and not recognizing the person in the photo as ourselves.
The positive that comes out of these situations is recognizing that you’re not content with your current situation and as a next step recognizing that we need to make a change. The preventative measure in these situations is to plan ahead of time. If you know you’re moving, find a gym close to where you live before you move. Determine what time you’re going to go to the gym and what days. Pick a workout program before going to the gym so you don’t have to think about what you’re going to be doing. Make the decision once and move on.
Dan John has a concept called Pirate Maps - an explicitly written out program of “do this.” Having Pirate Maps for your life makes things much simpler. It’s important to start these routines with a transition period because once a routine is established, it can be very challenging to change behavior. Artificial dates like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries can be a great time to check in and refocus on a health goal for the following month or year. The biggest challenge with all of these major life changes is being consumed by them. We obsess over getting everything done all at once and neglect our health or personal wellbeing in the meantime.
We do not give ourselves the grace of time. Even providing yourself with 15 minutes a day with health promoting behavior like taking a walk, meditation, or making yourself a nice snack or meal can be greatly restorative as stress increases due to these events. It is ok to invest 15-60 minutes a day in your own health. In doing so, it’s unlikely that you will fail a transition and it’s more likely that you’ll have more energy to get through your life transition. Routines are foundational to improving your health and also likely your happiness. People who consistently go on dates with their partner are more likely to have a healthy relationship. People who consistently go to the gym are more likely to be in better shape. People who consistently make their own meals are likely to be better cooks. People who consistently go to bed at a reasonable time are more likely to feel rested in the morning.
No person is perfect at all of these things. I’m not implying that you need to be perfect at any of these things all the time. However, being more consistent with positive health behaviors will often lead to positive health outcomes over time. Recognizing that a large life change is coming, preparing for how to deal with that situation, then having systems in place to keep you accountable can improve the likelihood of success with transitions.
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