Dog Days Pt II: Black Belt Reflections

Last month, I received my black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. The first time I walked into a gym was in December 2009. Since then, I’ve moved over 40 times and trained at countless gyms. Due to medical school and frequent relocations, my training was inconsistent until residency, when I began training regularly around 2015.

When I first started, the goal was always to reach black belt—mostly because I viewed black belts as people who knew everything. It was similar to how I once viewed doctors before starting medical training. But recently, my head instructor offered a comment that stuck with me: “Now the real learning begins.”

This mirrors the world of medicine—where the degree is just the beginning, and practical wisdom comes through years of application. Deep down, I’ve always known this. But I’m stubborn, and sometimes I have to relearn the same lessons. Here are some of the key themes I’ve taken away from my time on the mat.

Core Lessons and Heuristics

1. There’s Always a Cost to Growth

Improvement always comes at a cost—financial, temporal, and physical. Jiu Jitsu is a combat sport, and I’ve injured nearly every major joint (and quite a few minor ones).

A piece of wisdom I heard early on: “When you go through a program, you come out a different person. Sometimes you like who that is. Sometimes you don’t recognize them.”

My body is beat up. But the process taught me invaluable lessons.

2. Differentiate Pain from Damage

This might be the most transferable lesson to life. You stop panicking when things go wrong. Jiu Jitsu puts you in painful, uncomfortable positions constantly. Some pain is temporary. Some situations can break you permanently.

The key is knowing the difference:

• Temporary pain = breathe through it, endure, and grow.

• Permanent damage = tap out, recover, and live to fight another day.

3. There Are Levels to Everything

Getting promoted is humbling. You feel like you still suck—and that’s probably accurate. When you finish medical school, you’re a terrible doctor. When you get a black belt, you’re often past your athletic prime. There are younger, stronger, more athletic people who can still dominate you.

You learn: Elite is different. You can’t be great at everything, but you can keep learning. I’m too ADD to go all in on just one thing—and I’m okay with that.

4. Sometimes You Have to Retreat to Move Forward

Whether it’s a fight or a relationship, continuing down the wrong path can make things worse. Sometimes the best move is to step back:

• To gain a better position.

• To rest and reset.

• To preserve your strength for when it matters.

Even in conflict, the best self-defense is often to not engage at all. And if you must, escaping is usually wiser than escalating.

5. Play to Your Strengths

You don’t want to fight someone stronger than you at their game. Jiu Jitsu strategy teaches you to use what you have:

• If you're small, use agility.

• If you're big, use pressure and strength.

• If you’re being overwhelmed, retreat and reframe.

• If you're dumb, be creative

• If you're weak, be smart

The same goes for life: avoid games you can’t win. Find an angle that gives you the edge.

6. Time on the Mat Matters

You get better by showing up. Practice is irreplaceable.

Dan John’s adage applies here: “If it’s important, do it every day.” You can watch all the videos and read all the books you want—but nothing substitutes for time and effort. My own journey took so long because I wasn’t always consistent. Progress comes from showing up—frequently and intentionally.

7. Friendship and Connection as an Adult

Social isolation is real. Training in Jiu Jitsu has helped me build meaningful friendships through shared struggle and growth. Like anything else, relationships require consistent investment.

What helps:

• Regular meetups.

• Shared experiences.

• Rituals that bring people together.

The culture on the mat is rooted in mutual growth—we want each other to improve. That spirit builds lasting bonds.

8. Violence and Humility

Most people think training martial arts will turn them into Chuck Norris. It doesn’t. You quickly realize that some people are just physically gifted—and that no amount of training will make up for certain limitations.

You also learn that true self-defense is avoiding violence. Diplomacy should always be the first option. But if conflict is unavoidable, you must be prepared to go to dark places. Most people aren’t. That’s why training is an insurance policy—something you hope never to use, but are grateful to have.

As the saying goes: “Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”

9. Always Have a Home

No matter where I’ve gone in the world, I’ve had a place to train. With a simple Google search and an email, I’ve dropped into gyms across the globe. I've made friends, trained with strangers, and found community.

In Kuwait, I started a small group that trained in 110-degree heat on synthetic turf. Over time, it grew to 35 consistent members. Jiu Jitsu made an isolating environment feel less lonely.

10. Help Others Climb Higher

Eventually, you realize you’re not the young up-and-comer anymore. There are newer, hungrier students. Your job becomes helping them get better—faster than you did.

You want them to surpass you. And in doing so, you grow too. It’s a beautiful cycle where iron sharpens iron. I’m endlessly grateful to my training partners—past and present.

Final Thoughts

Earning a black belt isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of deeper learning. The sport has given me friends, resilience, perspective, and countless life lessons.

It’s not about becoming the best. It’s about becoming better—and helping others do the same.