Work, Rest, Play, Pray
Sleep:
Matt Walker’s book Why We Sleep came out a couple years ago and I was a little surprised that so many people were amazed that we need sleep. It’s almost as if we forgot that maybe we need to recover. There were actually a fair amount of negative responses to the book about it shaming people with insomnia. My only response to that, if you have insomnia, get professional help (Primary Care, Sleep Medicine). If you get a little less than 7 hours or a little more than 9 hours, it’s highly unlikely that you will burst into oblivion so don’t worry about it.
I have two young kids at home and it seems like I can’t get rest. I’m uncertain I’ve been able to sit longer than 15 minutes between the hours of 5a-7p for years. When my wife and I didn’t sleep through the night for six months we were a lot more irritable, shocking. I think the most simple answer to the question of why we sleep would be because we’re tired. When you don’t sleep it sucks. People ask how much sleep they need, and I respond with go to bed early, don’t set an alarm and see when you wake up. When people go on vacation and actually have time to do this, generally they need more sleep than they thought.
One of the most amazing patient stories I’ve heard this year was in an elite endurance athlete. Subjectively he only slept 2-3 hours per night for about 15 years and felt fine. He later found out that genetically his lungs were 30% proportionately larger than an average person. You are not this person, so don’t try this at home. My current hypothesis is that if you actually oxygenate your brain (meaning you don’t have sleep apnea) with great cardio-pulmonary function you might actually get more efficient with sleep. Columbus’s friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger has a quote somewhere along the lines of if you need more than 6 hours of sleep, sleep faster. Maybe he had less cumulative stress and was in better shape than most people so he needed less sleep. I don’t know and don’t really think it matters.
To prepare to sleep, try and start the night before. Make a statement about what you hope to accomplish the next day. Write it out, get the things done, and understand that once those tasks are complete your day is done. This will help with night time racing thoughts about all the things you need to do the next day. Get them out of your head, put them on paper and attack them the next morning.
Not Sleep:
When it comes to rest it’s not all about sleep. Resting is about turning off. There’s been a large push over the past 5-10 years on mindfulness practices. A lot of applications have been developed to help with this - Calm, 10% Happier, and Waking Up. Most people I see in the clinic struggle with resting. I just ask them to start walking. Walk away from whatever situation is bothering you to clear your mind. I’ve had some relationships that are so toxic that I recommend brief periods of separation just so both parties can clear their heads and stop the continuous dance of abusive behaviors. When you can chill out with walking, then maybe you can try sitting. If sitting is bothersome to you, lay flat on the ground on your back in a position called corpse pose.
Your home should be a sanctuary or a place of rest. If this is not the case, try to find some way to create a physical place that brings you peace. This could be a room, a couch, or a garden. This should be a place dedicated to rest. An obvious place could be your bedroom, but I think a place where you can just sit is much better. Lighting a candle every now and then seems to help too.
Set effective barriers. These are barriers around toxic relationships. These are barriers between work and not work. Have a ritual that marks when you are done for the day. UFC Hall of Famer, Forrest Griffin would take a shower as a physical ritual to mark the end to his work day. Some people listen to a podcast or music on their commute home to mark the end of the work day and to try and change from work mode to rest mode. Now that so many people are working from home, my suggestion is again go for a walk. Even if the walk is five minutes, it’s a physical ritual that marks the end of the work day. Walk away from work, then walk into your home. Some people have stressful commutes home and they know they are about to walk into chaos.I say the same thing. Go for a five minute walk after your drive to decompress and walk into the home with a more relaxed state of mind.
Practice: Believe it or not, rest takes practice. Having a practice of rest can be greatly beneficial. People practice being on or working hard all the time, but they almost never practice rest. Breathing exercises, sitting with a cup of tea, watching the water, having a sense of awe in nature, laying with a loved one, a gratitude practice, setting barriers, etc are all resting practices. The goal is to become more parasympathetic, which means the goal is to not have a goal. The parasympathetic state is one of resting, digesting, and healing. Many of us want to be elite workers. In order to be an elite worker, you need to become an elite rester or problems will likely arise. When the ax is dull, stop chopping and go sharpen it. If your body is breaking down with overuse injuries, it may be ok to just take a day off for once.
The fourth commandment is to remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. This means, don’t work. I think taking 1 day off per week is pretty reasonable and I think this is becoming increasingly less prevalent. We are on our phones all the time. Checking email, scrolling through social media - comparing and coveting. Stop. On your phone, schedule down time. Better yet, turn off your phone a day of the week. It will not kill you and you may find that you’re happier because you're present for the first time in 20 years. If taking a full day off is too much, make it a half day of rest. If a half day of rest is too much, make it an hour. If an hour is too much, make it a moment. If you rest and recover, you may actually come back stronger.
Go rest.
Comments