Stress Management: Someone To Walk With

Life Is Better When You Don’t Walk Alone

Life is easier when you don’t walk alone. When you fall, someone helps you back up. The problem is that many people feel like they don’t have anyone to walk with—and to be fair, people will let you down. That reality is unavoidable.

This is why I’m a strong advocate for what I call distant mentors. There are countless people whose work has shaped the way I think, live, and practice—many of whom I’ll never meet. One advantage of learning from a distance is that you rarely get to look under the hood. When you don’t open the closet, you don’t see the skeletons. Without seeing the flaws, people appear more credible, more disciplined, more “together.”

The truth is, they probably aren’t that different from you.

I’m pretty open about this: I’m no saint. I’m a hypocrite like everyone else. One of the harder lessons to accept is that nearly every great thing was created by a broken individual. What separated them wasn’t moral perfection—it was stubbornness, a high tolerance for discomfort, and an almost unreasonable commitment to the mission in front of them.

When people write or speak on podcasts, they often present ideas as they should be. These are ideals—not always reflections of how life actually plays out day to day. That gap can be discouraging if you don’t recognize it for what it is.

Some people lose faith in others altogether. And again, it’s understandable. People will disappoint you. They’ll act selfishly, irrationally, and sometimes in ways that make you say, What were they thinking?

Yet people are also the most wonderful thing we have.

People are our greatest investment. Pets and plants are a distant second. They’re comforting, loyal, and predictable—but they don’t challenge your perspective. People require time, energy, forgiveness, and patience. And in return, they help you grow.

Learning how to balance time spent focusing on yourself with time invested in others is a lifelong practice. While a dog will listen attentively, never interrupt, and happily accept a hug, it won’t call you out when you’re lying to yourself. A good friend will—and that’s a gift. Most of us aren’t blessed with someone willing to tell us the truth when it’s uncomfortable. We all need that person.

It’s a blessing to have people in your life who keep you humble. A real friend helps you take off the crown, drop the titles, and set aside the labels. They see you as you are—and still want you to become better.

You won’t find people to walk with by hiding in a cave. And while online relationships can be meaningful, I’m not convinced they offer the full benefit of shared presence. In reality, you need multiple people to walk with.

One of the most helpful quotes I’ve wrestled with came from my friend John Payne: “I don’t need everything from my spouse. My friends fill in the cracks.”

Too many people expect their spouse, their best friend, or even their pet to be everything. No single relationship can carry that weight. When we demand it, we create resentment, disappointment, and codependency.

And don’t forget—you also need to walk with yourself.

Give yourself grace. Get out of your own head from time to time. See yourself honestly, without cruelty. Avoid entering an abusive relationship with your own thoughts.

Sharing the load—allowing others to carry part of the yoke—makes life far more manageable. Having a small group of people you can be genuinely honest with changes everything. I’ve heard of people creating personal “boards,” inviting trusted friends over for a meal to review the past year together. That level of openness is powerful when done with the right people—those who challenge you, support you, and want you to be better.

Life is better when it’s walked—and shared—together.

3-Bullet Summary

• People will disappoint you—but they are still your greatest investment. Growth requires relationships that challenge, support, and sometimes confront you.

• No one person can be everything for you. Healthy lives are built on diverse relationships, not emotional overreliance on a single individual.

• Walking with others—and with yourself—makes life sustainable. Shared burdens and honest self-reflection ease the weight of existence.

3 Practical Takeaways

1. Build a small circle of truth-tellers. Identify 2–5 people who can challenge you honestly and care about your growth—then invest in those relationships.

2. Stop expecting perfection from mentors and partners. Learn from others without idealizing them; wisdom often comes from flawed people.

3. Practice self-compassion without self-deception. Be honest with yourself, but not abusive—growth requires clarity and grace.