Sexual Health Pt IV: Pregnancy and Birth
- Daniel Fosselman
- Sep 23
- 3 min read
When my wife and I went through this season of life, I jokingly called it “The Trail of Tears.” A politically incorrect title, yes—but for us, it captured the mix of joy, exhaustion, anxiety, and transformation that comes with pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a newborn.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me back then—practical insights from both personal experience and clinical practice.
Pregnancy: A Rollercoaster of Change
Pregnancy can be a profoundly exciting yet challenging time for families. Every journey is different:
Some women breeze through nine months with minimal discomfort.
Others face relentless nausea, fatigue, insomnia, and restless legs.
Many feel heightened anxiety—not just about their health but also about the baby’s.
Morning sickness: Up to 70% of women experience nausea in the first trimester.
Fatigue: Often worsened by reduced caffeine intake (recommended ≤200 mg/day, ~1 cup of coffee).
Dietary stress: Navigating what’s “safe” to eat can be overwhelming.
“Geriatric” pregnancies: More women are delaying childbirth, leading to increased screenings and specialist visits after age 35.
My takeaway: No two pregnancies look alike. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s.
Nutrition and Lifestyle Tips
You’re not eating for two—you only need about 300 extra calories/day.
Avoid alcohol: Despite popular claims, there’s no known safe level during pregnancy.
Exercise is safe and encouraged: Most women can maintain their normal routines early on but should avoid lying flat on their back after ~20 weeks.
For structured, evidence-based guidance, I often recommend Girls Gone Strong and pelvic physical therapy apps like Bloom.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from both personal experience and medicine, it’s this: birth rarely goes according to plan.
Some women walk into the hospital, push once, and are holding their baby within an hour. Others endure multi-day labors, emergency interventions, or extended NICU stays.
Key Stats to Know
32% of U.S. births are delivered via C-section.
3–5% require forceps or vacuum extraction.
5–10% involve episiotomies.
Over 50% of deliveries require at least one medical intervention.
10–15% of newborns are admitted to the NICU.
With numbers like these, going in with a rigid “birth plan” can set you up for stress. Instead, prepare for possibilities, not perfection.
For partners: Be present, supportive, and quiet. Labor isn’t the time to test your stand-up routine. Trust me—nobody thinks you’re funny at 3 a.m.
For many parents, the postpartum phase is harder than pregnancy or birth. Between sleep deprivation, physical recovery, and shifting relationships, it can feel overwhelming.
Expect inconsistent sleep until your baby establishes a circadian rhythm (often after 3–4 months).
Sleep deficits typically peak around week six, and chronic exhaustion can persist even at six months.
Historically, newborn care was supported by extended family and community. Today, with smaller support networks and more dual-income households, many parents find themselves overwhelmed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help—whether from family, friends, or professional services.
Childbirth often stresses relationships:
Make time to “date” each other even when you’re exhausted.
Talk openly about your needs, fears, and frustrations.
Remember: neglected relationships wither—staying connected protects both partners and the child.
Postpartum depression (PPD) affects 8–20% of women, with rates climbing to 33% during the COVID era due to increased isolation and stress.
Research suggests that pitocin/oxytocin inductions may increase the risk of PPD by 32–36%【2017 study】.
If you’re experiencing persistent sadness, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, seek professional help immediately. PPD is common—and treatable.
Birth-related trauma is more common than most realize:
10–63% of women experience postpartum incontinence.
Yet only 15% seek treatment.
Pelvic physical therapy can dramatically improve recovery, strength, and quality of life. Apps like Bloom and in-person therapists are great resources.
Breastfeeding: One Size Does Not Fit All
Like pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding is highly individual:
Some women love it.
Others struggle with pain, low supply, oversupply, or mastitis.
Many feel guilty if they stop before the AAP’s recommendation of breastfeeding for 1–2 years.
Practical Tips
Take advantage of insurance-covered breast pumps—consider hands-free options to save time.
Stay for your insurance-covered two nights after delivery, even for uncomplicated births, to get lactation consultant support.
Seek help early, whether inpatient or outpatient—but know that opinions may differ between consultants.
Key Takeaways
Flexibility is your friend: Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum rarely follow a script.
Build your support system: Community, communication, and professional guidance make the journey easier.
Prioritize your health: Mental, physical, and relational well-being are all part of recovery—for both parents.
