Rest Pt IV: Relaxing

The Practice of Relaxation

I’ll be the first to admit—I’m not an authority on relaxing. In fact, if you want to learn how to relax, you could probably just do the opposite of me. But here we are, and the topic is worth exploring.

At its core, relaxation is the state of being free from tension and anxiety. That’s a state I rarely see in my medical practice. Most people are constantly pulled in a dozen directions—work, family, responsibilities, devices, worries. The ability to relax is less common than it should be.

What Relaxation Really Means

Relaxation is not about focus, attention, or intention—those belong to meditation. Relaxation is about letting go. It’s enjoyment without purpose, presence without effort. For me, relaxation looks like watching my kids play or my dog run. Just observing without judgment—the kid is a kid, the dog is a dog.

It is the art of giving up control. Not producing, not striving, not participating—just being.

Peace, Contentment, and Boredom

I believe relaxation is a blend of peace and contentment. But here’s the catch: many people can’t relax because they can’t be bored. We’re addicted to constant stimulus.

There’s a great story about Eliud Kipchoge, the marathon legend. After winning Olympic gold, he sat calmly in a waiting room for hours before the medal ceremony—no phone, no distractions, just stillness. The other medalists scrolled on their phones. Kipchoge’s greatest strength may not be physical—it’s that he’s content in stillness.

Relaxation in Daily Life

Comedian Tom Segura once joked that before kids he had time, and after kids he had moments. A sip of coffee. A quiet pause. That’s relaxation too—brief but meaningful.

Relaxation doesn’t always mean hours in a hammock. It can be five minutes of unplugging, walking away from your house, or turning your phone off. It’s a reset—a computer reboot for your mind.

Relaxation and Health

Relaxation isn’t just a luxury—it’s a health skill. True health is the ability to rapidly shift between being “on” and “off.” To work when it’s time to work, and to rest when it’s time to rest. If you can’t turn on, you need practice. If you can’t turn off, you need practice too.

Hustle culture glorifies constant output, but learning to sit without purpose is just as valuable. Some of my favorite memories aren’t from doing, but from being—like sitting beside my wife at a vineyard, glass of wine in hand, nothing to accomplish but enjoying each other’s presence.

How to Start Relaxing

• Walk away – from your house, your phone, your computer, your watch. Even five minutes counts.

• Unplug – schedule daily “reboots” where you’re unreachable.

• Practice boredom – sit still, without stimulus, and notice your discomfort. Over time, it transforms into peace.

Final Thought

Modern society is not set up for relaxation. We’re overstimulated, overconnected, and overcommitted. But like anything, relaxation is a skill—and skills improve with practice.

If you’re bad at relaxing, join the club. Then start practicing.