Financial Health Part V: Spending and Giving

Spending: A Reflection of Our True Values

A few years ago, I listened to an interview on The Knowledge Project Podcast with a commodities trader. He shared that his decision-making process for buying or selling assets was based on just five key metrics. In a world saturated with noise, he created a simple model that distilled complex decisions into five critical signals. Over the course of his career—lasting less than 15 years—he became a billionaire. This concept inspired me to wonder: If I were to limit myself to five metrics to assess someone's health, what would they be?

Admittedly, I cheated a little by choosing one metric that trumps them all: the ability to look at a person's bank transactions. Just by examining where they spend their money, I can make a pretty accurate guess about their health. If the bulk of their expenditures go toward candy, alcohol, drugs, medications, supplements, and convenience store junk, it’s a safe bet their health is not a priority. On the other hand, someone with significant wealth who spends their money on experiences and items that nourish their well-being—and who also donates a portion to causes they care about—likely enjoys robust health, both physically and mentally.

The Education-to-Entertainment Ratio

Martin Rooney once introduced a brilliant concept: the education-to-entertainment ratio. This ratio measures how much of our time and resources go toward learning and growth versus how much goes toward entertainment. Expanding this concept to personal development, including health, can reveal even more about our priorities. How we spend money is often a reflection of how we invest in ourselves.

Real experiences can be transformative forms of education. Sometimes, the line between education and entertainment becomes blurred, as the best experiences are both fun and educational. It’s all about perspective. A journey that entertains can teach, and a lesson that educates can be engaging. Ultimately, the ratio of how we spend on these two spheres gives a telling picture of our life priorities.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

There’s an old adage that "actions speak louder than words." Recently, I’ve been thinking about the tongue as both a tool of progress and a source of division. While our ability to communicate has advanced humanity, it has also led to much of the conflict we face. Words can unite, but they can also break us apart.

When it comes to spending, there’s no room for ambiguity. Your spending habits are a clear, undeniable statement of what you value. Money is a form of action; it’s how you vote with your resources. If you want to know what someone truly values, look at where their money goes.

The Mirror of Accountability

One of the most powerful tools a therapist has is the ability to record and reflect on a person’s interactions. Our ability to self-assess is often flawed, and what we think we do doesn’t always align with what we actually do. Tools that promote accountability are invaluable in this respect. In a sense, the best coach we can have is a mirror.

A mirror doesn’t lie. It shows us who we are, plain and simple. The more mirrors we have in our lives, the clearer our self-perception becomes. Personal finance trackers are mirrors. Your community is a mirror. The scale is a mirror. Even the weight room is a mirror. These mirrors offer clarity, but they also require courage. It takes courage to look at yourself—whether that means confronting your spending habits, stepping on a scale, or assessing your personal financial situation.

We often avoid these mirrors because the truth can hurt. But the truth, painful as it may be, is the most effective teacher. Once you accept it as a guide, you can begin to mold your life into what you truly want it to be. Spend your time, money, and energy in alignment with your deepest values, and see yourself clearly for who you are.

Giving: The Art of Selfless Contribution

“Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things which are God’s.” – Matthew 22:21

When we think about giving, it’s important to recognize that it differs from spending or investing in one crucial way: there’s no expectation of return. This type of giving, or charity, is an act of pure faith. You may hope that the recipient will use your resources wisely, but there’s always the risk that they won’t. Nevertheless, charitable giving is rooted in a sense of trust and hope.

The practice of tithing—donating a portion of one’s income—has its roots in several religious traditions. In Judaism, the tithe was traditionally 10% of one's income, while Islam has the concept of zakat, recommending a 2.5% donation of one’s savings. In ancient times, these contributions were automatically funneled into religious institutions, serving as a way to support the local community. The underlying principle was simple: give to those who need help without expecting anything in return.

In the modern world, we could argue that paying taxes is a form of contribution to the common good. The progressive tax system in the United States, which can go as high as 40%, can be seen as fulfilling the same role as tithing—supporting community needs through collective contributions. However, true charitable giving goes beyond the transactional nature of taxes.

The Greatest Teachers

The most profound lessons I’ve learned haven’t come from books or lectures, but from my patients. They teach me nearly everything I know. Just last week, a patient introduced me to a Greek word that doesn’t exist in English: philotimo, which translates to “love of honor.” This concept embodies pride, dignity, respect, and a deep sense of doing what is right without expectation of reward. It’s the feeling of an unpayable debt to those who have invested in you without asking for anything in return.

This concept of philotimo reframes how we think about our own lives. It challenges us to view everything we do—not just financially, but in all aspects of life—as a form of charity. By building wealth and using it to serve others, without any expectation of return, we create a life of honor and integrity.

In the end, the most fulfilling way to live is to build as much wealth as possible—not for personal gain, but to give it away selflessly. The act of giving, especially without expectation, becomes a way of honoring the deeper values we aspire to uphold.

Build up as much wealth as possible, and give it all without any expectation of return.